![]() ![]() ![]() I was tempted to suggest we just forget it but I didn’t want to make him even more upset so I was reassuring and said we’d sort something out. He looked so miserable I was instantly irritated, convinced Jane would have guessed something was up. It was another two days before I saw Michael again and I was desperate to phone him, despite my rules, though I managed not to. I was sure Stephen could tell I’d had sex with someone else but he was the same as ever and I was pathetically pleased that I was able to enjoy sex with him as normal. He said he would text me and I snapped at him not to – had he forgotten all we agreed? Stephen phoned later and in the midst of the chat about the kids asked if Michael was at the conference so I said he’d popped in before he left.Ĭoming home the next night was hellish. We had another go before he had to rush for his plane and it was just as bad. He had his own worries – it was over far too soon and I felt dissatisfied as well as guilty – and he clearly felt the same. The sex was clumsy and painful and a couple of times I wondered what the hell I was doing. We were like two teenagers, and not in a good way.įor months I’d been totally turned on every time we were anywhere close to each other, but not now. We had three hours in the late afternoon till his flight home and despite all our talk about being calm and dispassionate we were both unbelievably nervous. ![]() He’d been to the first day of a conference – I arrived that afternoon and checked into the same hotel. We agreed that it was to be an added extra to an already strong friendship, but organised calmly and dispassionately, so no one would suspect.īy the time we slept together, we were both in a total state and it was a complete disaster. It took another six months of discussion and planning before the affair started. He said he thought I fancied him and I said very calmly that I did, but I wouldn’t risk my marriage or kids for anyone. Stephen teased him about it for ages but the next time I was alone with him I was furious and told him never to do something so stupid again. Stephen thought it was hilarious and I texted back and said, “Isn’t this for Jane? Stephen says lucky her!” At that point my conscience was almost clear as we’d done nothing but talk, so I said, “Oh my God, Stephen – Michael’s just sent me a text that’s meant for Jane!” I was sure he was drunk as it was short but very graphic. But I got a bad shock when he sent me a filthy text one night. At first it was just a little edgy – do you still fancy Stephen/Jane? Ever been unfaithful? Ever thought of it? It got more and more explicit and I couldn’t get him out of my mind. I thought life would go back to normal the next day and it did in front of Stephen and Jane, but we had a completely different relationship when we were alone. Then we all got quite drunk at a party and Michael and I really started flirting. I started plotting how we could do it and never get found out, and almost convinced myself that I was just being academic about it. ![]() For the first time since we got married, I could imagine myself having an affair and at first it made me uncomfortable. Stephen is quite a flirt himself and the odd little bit of jealousy never did me any harm, and tended to respark my interest in my husband. I’m not stupid enough to think you can go through life fancying only one person, but I’d kept any previous little crushes firmly in my head. I was quite shaken when I started to find Michael attractive. He’s completely different from Stephen, who is very forthright, enthusiastic and go-getting while Michael is dreamy and creative, but with an incisive sense of humour and very witty, so they get on well. He couldn’t believe we hadn’t met professionally and soon introduced us. Stephen was friends with Michael first, having met him at a school event when our youngest child was just starting. No love missives – texts are about the families getting together – and any emails are work related because we work in the same field. I also have a diary in my head of my times with Michael, but I never put anything in writing. I started plotting how we could do it and never get found out We also do a lot as a family, as well as socialising with friends and enjoying a variety of hobbies, so being organised is vital and, like many working mothers, I keep a meticulous diary to make sure everyone is in the right place at the right time. We’ve always made an effort to keep things fresh – of course you get bogged down in daily life, but we go out for dinner by ourselves or have a day off when we pack the kids off to school and go back to bed for a few hours. He’s a brilliant dad and funny, intelligent, fit and attractive. I didn’t start an affair because I’m lacking anything with Stephen. ![]()
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